how am i NOT myself? how AM i not myself? HOW am i not MYSELF?

I feel as though my brain walked into a hall of mirrors and has begun the complicated task of analyzing the way it thinks about the way it thinks and analyzes itself. No, that's not a typo, nor is it several typos.

I have begun my coursework at the Department of Theatre Arts and Dance, and I'd like to simple say this: I'm in. I am buying in to the "way of thinking" that is currently happening at this school. This way of thinking is an Event, in so much as it is a physical occurrence that continuously acts. This is the real deal.

The faculty has issued several war cries this first week. They are calling for the students to actively participate in the intellectual community that exists here. This community contributes greatly to the forging ahead of theatre as an art form and theatre as a realm of discourse that requires, and deserves, an unceasing re-evaluation of how it works, why it works, why it doesn't work, where it is coming from, where it may be going and in just what way it travels.

As a new traveler on this path toward an uncertain future of evaluation and re-evaluation, I can attest to the difficulty of the climb. The coursework is Heavy. I have had my brain blown every other ten minutes for 4 days straight and I don't even have time to revel in that because I have to read a bulk of all philosophical, theoretical and dramatic literature - all that is in existence. It is amazing to see and to work with a group of people committed to a challenging, often unrewarding, line of work. This is truly an amazing place.

I left New York with several ideas running through my mind. One of the most complex ideas, as my friends can attest to, was the notion that Time is, in a very real way, extremely problematic, and that, because Time happens to be so important, things are not, so to speak, ok. I would say, "Time is not okay. Time is not okay." I made my friends repeat it as though it were a mantra. I later added the phrase "...and that's truly amazing," so the full phrase upon arriving in Minneapolis was "Time is not okay, and that is truly amazing." Well, as it turns out, I was right. There are many philosophers and thinkers who share my views. One of the best examples I can give would be the following quotation by Jean-Francois Lyotard in his book entitled Post Modern Fables:

What would be demented would be to claim an integral restitution of the now that was back then as if it were the now of right now. A dementia due to an ontological forgetting: one omits that what happens is deferred and distanced right off the bat, that being forgotten is part of what is.

I'll leave you with that.